BETRAYAL & BEYOND FAQ
Is this group for divorced women or for those seeking to reconcile?
This is a healing group for any woman (single, married, divorced, or separated) who is struggling due to their current or former partner's sexual betrayal that may have included an affair (including online), porn use, sexual abuse, prostitute solicitation, sexting, strip clubs, coffee huts, or fetishes (etc.) The program does promote the restoration of marriages when possible, however, the tools you get will be for your health moving forward. Women of all ages and stages have found this program to be helpful with their personal healing from the impact of betrayal.
Is this a Biblical study?
Yes! This study is a Christ-centered study, and each lesson is based on Biblical principles.
How long is the study?
The Pure Desire Betrayal and Beyond groups meet once a week for 2 hours. Participants are required to do their homework prior to each weekly meeting. Homework typically takes 1-2 hours to complete. It takes about 1 year to complete the material.
Is there a cost?
Yes, the cost of the 2 book set which can be found at: www.puredesire.org
* If $ is a hardship right now, please let us know after the orientation, we can help you out – don't let that hold you back if the time is right!
When can I join?
If you think this group sounds like the right fit for you, you will first need to attend a 2 hour orientation. This is informational only, with no pressure to join. You will hear the story of one or two of our leaders who have been through this program. We will go over the commitment required and answer all questions. This will help you feel better informed before you make a commitment. After this, if you feel ready to join, you will be placed in a group that works with your schedule as soon as one is available. Sometimes there is a waiting period since the groups are so small.
How long will I be on a waitlist?
You can often get started right away after you participate in the Information/Orientation meeting, however; sometimes wait times can be several months. We will keep your name on a list and contact you as openings arise.
Is this something I can just do by myself?
You always have that option, but we have found that this material can be difficult alone, and most women don't get very far. It is much more enjoyable and beneficial to do in a group where you can hear the different perspectives and discuss things that help you further explore the homework. Those of us who tried to “DIY” our recovery in this area ended up feeling like it was a mistake that delayed our healing. It helps to be guided by your facilitator who is a little farther ahead in this journey of healing.
This area is very personal, how can I feel comfortable being so vulnerable?
Yes, it is, and we understand your caution. We will go over the details of this more at the orientation. We have every woman sign a confidentiality agreement that we will keep on file, and constant reminders are given throughout your group experience. I will send you the group guidelines and confidentiality form to read over before you attend an orientation. If there is a situation that makes you feel unsafe, we ask you to reach out and let us know. Facilitators are trained in guiding women to add to security within the group, and the guidelines we follow have been written by trained professionals with a lot of experience in this area.
Every member of the group will fill out a Privacy Agreement together. You can look over the agreement HERE, but please wait to sign it until you are together with the group.
What does the study cover?
The program has various topics, one builds on the other, taking you through a journey of understanding the nature of addiction, then on to layers of your own personal healing.
• Understanding the need for support and commitment to your own healing
• Learn about addiction (important to understand in order to move forward in your own healing)
• Explore the sources and the impact of traumas in your life. You will unpack family of origin and other life experiences, learning about why you feel, think and respond the way you do
• Better understand and work through: codependency, the stages of grief, anger, forgiveness
• Learn how to re-build trust, how to trust yourself again. Be better equipped with strategies for better self-care and maintain healthy boundaries in the future.
Is there a DVD to watch?
No, this is a process-oriented group that is built on community. You will be discussing the homework together and encouraging one another in the process. There is only one short clip you may watch during the addiction part of the group.
How many women are in the group?
The group has a maximum of 7 women. This small size allows for more group discussion time and makes it easier to feel connected and safe.
Is there a men’s group?
Yes, Pure Desire has a program for men seeking support in sexual purity. Please contact puredesiremen@newlifeeverett.org for more information.
Is there childcare during the groups?
Childcare is not available.
When and where do the groups meet?
Groups meet both on campus and off. Some are in person, some may be on ZOOM. After attending an orientation, if you want to join, we will add you to the waitlist and then contact you to keep you informed of details for the next available group. Days and times will vary based on the availability of the facilitator.
Please contact BandB@newlifeeverett.org for the date and time of the next information/orientation meeting.
What if I need help now?
We would love to pray with you and offer support as you wait to get to Orientation and into a group. Please contact the church office if you would like to meet with a pastor. Please contact BandB@newlifeeverett.org for additional support from the Betrayal and Beyond leadership.
What if my issue is not quite covered in this group...but I still need to find support?
Don't give up! Please reach out to us and ask questions, we will try to connect you with the appropriate sources for help and healing. BandB@newlifeeverett.org