Pre-Marital Mentoring Questionnaire

Please take the time in a quiet place to fill out this informational questionnaire. DO NOT share answers with each other.

The purpose of this profile is to communicate thoughts and feelings about yourself and your future spouse. This will help your premarital mentor(s) to better understand and serve you.

Be assured that all information will be held in confidence, therefore, we ask for your open and honest responses. Premarital staff, you, and your partner are the only individuals that will review this information.

We are committed to helping you build a God-honoring relationship as a couple by discussing biblical as well as secular marriage principles in a setting designed to be relaxed, informative and challenging.

Pre-Marital Mentoring Application

Name(Required)

First Last

Date(Required)

Phone

Fiancé's Name

First Last

Wedding Date

Do you attend services at New Life?

Does your Fiancé attend services at New Life?

General Information

How long have you known each other?

How long have you been engaged?

Does your family approve of your choice of mate? If not, what are their reservations?

Are you well acquainted with your potential mate’s immediate family? List three strengths and three weaknesses in your potential mate.

List three strengths and three weaknesses in yourself.

List the ways you and your potential mate are alike.

List the ways you and your potential mate are different.

Describe some specific things about your potential mate that concern you and that you would change if you could.

Family Background

List what you feel are the positive strengths of your father:

List what you feel are the positive strengths of your mother:

List what you feel are the weaknesses of your father:

List what you feel are the weaknesses of your mother:

In what ways are you similar to your father:

In what ways are you similar to your mother:

How well do you and your father communicate?

How well do you and your mother communicate?

How were love, warmth, and tenderness expressed in your home growing up?

Has divorce occurred in your family?

How did your parents handle problems between them?

What was your response to your parent’s methods of handling their problems?

What is your plan for settling problems?

What do you perceive to be the strengths of your future spouse’s family?

What do you perceive to be the weaknesses of your future spouse’s family?

Was/is your parents' marriage a happy one?

Why?

Was/is your parents' marriage a spiritually strong one?

Why?

Which of your parents contributes the most strength to the marriage?

How do you expect your marriage to differ from your parents?

How do you expect your marriage to be similar to your parents?

How will your family background affect your marriage?

Has there been alcohol, drug, physical or sexual abuse in your family background?

If so, how have these experiences influenced you?

Expectations

Name several reasons that led you to desire to marry your potential mate:

Is there anything that makes you jealous of your potential mate?

What would you consider grounds for divorce?

How important are certain dates (anniversary, birthday, etc.) to you?

Family Goals

What are two activities (recreational, social, etc.) that you have in common?

Would each of you be willing to permit the other one night per week for his/her own interests?

Do the two of you have mutual friends?

If so, how often are you together?

Do you dislike any of your fiancé’s family or friends?

If so, why?

How much education have you had? Do you plan on continuing your education?

How do you feel about having children?

How many children would you like to have and why?

How do you feel about the wife working outside the home?

Communication

Describe how you plan to make important decisions in your marriage.

How important do you feel communication is to a relationship and how do you define it?

When do you feel the most freedom to communicate?

When do you feel the least freedom to communicate?

One aspect of your relationship you’ve been reluctant to discuss with your future partner, but wish to now is:

Describe several things your future partner does that make it easy to share yourself with him/her:

Describe several things your future partner does that make it difficult to share yourself with him/her:

Are there any secrets that you should keep from each other?

One need I wish my future partner would be more sensitive to is:

Conflict Resolution

How do you express pain, disagreement and anger in your relationship?

How does your potential mate?

Spiritual Questions

Have you received Christ as your Savior?

If so, when did this occur?

Describe your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

What does it mean for the husband to be the spiritual leader and head of the home?

Are your parents Christians?

Are you certain that your fiancé is a Christian?

How do you perceive your future spouse’s relationship with Jesus Christ?

What would you like to see God do in your marriage?

Do you plan, as a couple, to be involved in a local church?

Intimate Relationship

In your opinion, what is appropriate romantic involvement during engagement?

What resources have you read or listened to on the subject of sex in marriage?

Do you think your knowledge of sexual and physical relations is:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is sex in marriage?

Please enter a number from 1 to 10.

(1 being the least important and 10 being most)

List two reasons why you think your fiancé has a proper biblical understanding and awareness of his/her sexuality and is ready for marriage:

Does the discussion of sexual matters make you embarrassed or inhibited?

What do you believe to be the limits in your physical relationship before marriage?

Finances

Have you and your potential mate agreed on the income necessary to operate your household?

Do you and your potential mate have the same attitude toward charitable giving?

Which of you is going to handle the money and payment of bills?

What is your opinion of buying on credit?

Should you or your mate be allowed to have money for personal expenses?

If so, for what items?

Have you planned any kind of budget?

Have you planned any kind of will?

Have you planned any kind of insurance program?

Summary

Why do you feel confident that this marriage will be successful?

How do people who know you best respond to this relationship?

What would you like to see happen in your premarital mentoring?